In this short article I would like to discuss how important self acceptance is and how you can improve your life by accepting who you are.
Why is self-acceptance so important?
It is so important because if you do not accept yourself for who you really are, you will create a number of problems in your life. Some of these problems are internal affecting you personally and some will affect how others treat you. Many people fall into the trap of not accepting who they are and then try to be like someone else.
Let’s quickly look at some of these problems that can result from this:
- Low self esteem – denying who you are or being blind to what you really want means you may suffer from low self esteem
- Living a lie – if you do not accept yourself you may push yourself to be what you are not and the result is a false life. If you feel that you are living a life which is not you perhaps you have this problem.
- Unhappiness – connected to the last two points because you will not be enjoying life as you are ignoring your inner voice and your heart
- Becoming a victim – if you do not accept yourself you may believe what others tell you and become a victim
- No trust in yourself – low self confidence can follow when you are unsure of who you are and what you want
What happens when you accept yourself for who you really are?
Self-acceptance means that you understand who you truly are and where your strengths and weaknesses lie. You know what you want. This will allow you to be comfortable with your place in the world and be honest with yourself.
If you can build your self confidence, you will live a life free of self criticism and you can begin to face the challenges in your life and overcome them. Imagine being at ease with people, being able to speak in public and feel good about yourself, no more shyness or fear. Build your Self Confidence with hypnosis – quick, easy and guaranteed! (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation).
If you accept yourself you can also value yourself and tell others that they should respect who you are. You will also be able to accept others and not demand that they try to reach your standards. You will also be able to ask others for what you want and need.
Self acceptance means that you are happy with who and what you are but it does not mean that you give up any hopes of change or improvement. Self acceptance is a necessary first step towards self improvement because you need to see the truth about yourself and accept it and then decide whether or not you can change.
Self acceptance does not mean being happy with the present situation or standing still, you are still free to change what you can in complete honesty with your truth.
What steps can you take to increase your self acceptance?
- Take time to think about who you are – your personality, your background, what makes you tick
- Understand that there are both positive and negative aspects of who you are and you should accept these as part of who you are
- Are there things about yourself which you don’t like? Ok, maybe you can improve but first acknowledge them and accept them
- Are you trying to be something you’re not? Why? Wouldn’t it be better to be you?
- Visit this page about self acceptance and get the download – it’ll help you enormously
- Buy a book and confront the problem:
next article – stop comparing yourself
As the government begins its crackdown on essay mill websites, it’s easy to see just how much pressure students are under to get top grades for their coursework these days. But writing a high-scoring paper doesn’t need to be complicated. We spoke to experts to get some simple techniques that will raise your writing game.
Tim Squirrell is a PhD student at the University of Edinburgh, and is teaching for the first time this year. When he was asked to deliver sessions on the art of essay-writing, he decided to publish a comprehensive (and brilliant) blog on the topic, offering wisdom gleaned from turning out two or three essays a week for his own undergraduate degree.
“There is a knack to it,” he says. “It took me until my second or third year at Cambridge to work it out. No one tells you how to put together an argument and push yourself from a 60 to a 70, but once you to get grips with how you’re meant to construct them, it’s simple.”
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The goal of writing any essay is to show that you can think critically about the material at hand (whatever it may be). This means going beyond regurgitating what you’ve read; if you’re just repeating other people’s arguments, you’re never going to trouble the upper end of the marking scale.
“You need to be using your higher cognitive abilities,” says Bryan Greetham, author of the bestselling How to Write Better Essays. “You’re not just showing understanding and recall, but analysing and synthesising ideas from different sources, then critically evaluating them. That’s where the marks lie.”
But what does critical evaluation actually look like? According to Squirrell, it’s simple: you need to “poke holes” in the texts you’re exploring and work out the ways in which “the authors aren’t perfect”.
“That can be an intimidating idea,” he says. “You’re reading something that someone has probably spent their career studying, so how can you, as an undergraduate, critique it?
“The answer is that you’re not going to discover some gaping flaw in Foucault’s History of Sexuality Volume 3, but you are going to be able to say: ‘There are issues with these certain accounts, here is how you might resolve those’. That’s the difference between a 60-something essay and a 70-something essay.”
Critique your own arguments
Once you’ve cast a critical eye over the texts, you should turn it back on your own arguments. This may feel like going against the grain of what you’ve learned about writing academic essays, but it’s the key to drawing out developed points.
“We’re taught at an early age to present both sides of the argument,” Squirrell continues. “Then you get to university and you’re told to present one side of the argument and sustain it throughout the piece. But that’s not quite it: you need to figure out what the strongest objections to your own argument would be. Write them and try to respond to them, so you become aware of flaws in your reasoning. Every argument has its limits and if you can try and explore those, the markers will often reward that.”
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Fine, use Wikipedia then
The use of Wikipedia for research is a controversial topic among academics, with many advising their students to stay away from the site altogether.
“I genuinely disagree,” says Squirrell. “Those on the other side say that you can’t know who has written it, what they had in mind, what their biases are. But if you’re just trying to get a handle on a subject, or you want to find a scattering of secondary sources, it can be quite useful. I would only recommend it as either a primer or a last resort, but it does have its place.”
Focus your reading
Reading lists can be a hindrance as well as a help. They should be your first port of call for guidance, but they aren’t to-do lists. A book may be listed, but that doesn’t mean you need to absorb the whole thing.
Squirrell advises reading the introduction and conclusion and a relevant chapter but no more. “Otherwise you won’t actually get anything out of it because you’re trying to plough your way through a 300-page monograph,” he says.
You also need to store the information you’re gathering in a helpful, systematic way. Bryan Greetham recommends a digital update of his old-school “project box” approach.
“I have a box to catch all of those small things – a figure, a quotation, something interesting someone says – I’ll write them down and put them in the box so I don’t lose them. Then when I come to write, I have all of my material.”
There are a plenty of online offerings to help with this, such as the project management app Scrivener and referencing tool Zotero, and, for the procrastinators, there are productivity programmes like Self Control, which allow users to block certain websites from their computers for a set period.
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Look beyond the reading list
“This is comparatively easy to do,” says Squirrell. “Look at the citations used in the text, put them in Google Scholar, read the abstracts and decide whether they’re worth reading. Then you can look on Google Scholar at other papers that have cited the work you’re writing about – some of those will be useful. But quality matters more than quantity.”
And finally, the introduction
The old trick of dealing with your introduction last is common knowledge, but it seems few have really mastered the art of writing an effective opener.
“Introductions are the easiest things in the world to get right and nobody does it properly,” Squirrel says. “It should be ‘Here is the argument I am going to make, I am going to substantiate this with three or four strands of argumentation, drawing upon these theorists, who say these things, and I will conclude with some thoughts on this area and how it might clarify our understanding of this phenomenon.’ You should be able to encapsulate it in 100 words or so. That’s literally it.”
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